What the american/vietnam war taught us about goals

When the American War started in Vietnam, the Americans thought they would be able to 'beat' the Vietnamese easily because they had better weapons than the 'backward' country of Vietnam.

History showed us that this wasn't the case. Despite them having superior weapons, and using biochemical weapons (Agent Orange), the Americans eventually surrendered and left the country.

The issue that the Americans encountered was tactical as much as it was psychological.

The Americans were playing to WIN. This means their actions were focused on 'winning' the war.

They wanted to advance their position. Establish dominance. And 'finish' the fight.

However, the North Vietnamese were playing a different game. They weren't trying to 'win'. They were simply trying to fight.

The goal was to 'fight' against the Americans and defend 'their' territory.

Fundamentally, this creates a very different strategy.

When you play to win, you exert energy to reach a certain time point.

When you play to play, you exert energy to always play.

You can never beat someone who is just playing to play.

Picture this. You are trying to win a marathon by training 5-6x a week, sorting out your paces to make sure you hit 'optimal' fitness.

Conversely, you are racing against someone who... just loves running. He runs everyday. He doesn't mind if he doesn't win a race. But he'll keep running.

You might win one marathon against him. But over time, he'll eventually overtake you.

Not only will he overtake you. But if there was no time limit, he would 100% run past you eventually.

Now let me relate this back to hard times. Many of you in this group are dads or leaders of a business. You are the person who bears the brunt of the stress.

If you try to 'win' at what you're doing (like the Americans), you will eventually lose because life is a never-ending game. There are problems - no matter what.

However, if you simply show up and meet the challenges as best you can, without anticipating that they will stop, you will eventually wear down any problem.

Many times in life, we try to set ourselves a 'goal'.

But this in itself is probably self-defeating, especially with serious things like being a dad, mum, a partner, or business owner.

The best thing we can do is show up, every day, with no expectation of winning, but simply to solve the problems at hand.

You will never win 'against' life. It's too powerful and esoteric. But we can flow with it.

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Movement is a universal law